Dr J Hernes M Abante

John 3:16 - “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

Everyone desires to receive a gift. Gift giving is an ancient tradition that has fostered peace, friendship, and unity among people across cultures and generations. Many see it as a necessary act for various occasions, yet it often transforms into a burdensome obligation rather than a joyful blessing.

This burden is not only on the giver, who may feel pressured to find the perfect gift, but also on the receiver, who might feel compelled to return a gift or offer compensation simply because they received something. This creates a cycle of emotional strain — from the initial act of giving to feelings of guilt, embarrassment, and even worthlessness.

I recall a Christmas celebration during my high school years when I was unable to participate in Kris Kringle because I lacked the financial means. I did not want to burden my parents or ask for help. 

Since I was a class officer, I felt it was important to be present and participate in the tradition. Without money and motivated by a sense of obligation, I looked around for a solution. I noticed my father’s elegant fountain pen resting on the kitchen table. It was a cherished item, one that many students at the time admired because fountain pens, which required dipping or filling from ink bottles, symbolized sophistication and credibility.

Deciding that it would make a meaningful gift, I wrapped the pen carefully and brought it to the Christmas party without informing my father. To avoid revealing its origin, my classmates and I agreed not to attach names to the gifts, only numbers, so no one would know whose gift was which.

During the gift exchange, I watched anxiously, wondering where my gift would end up and feeling guilty for taking my father’s pen without permission. The fountain pen was eventually given to a friendly classmate, who quickly approached me privately with a look of disappointment.

He expressed liking the idea but felt misled because the pen was old and used, which made him feel cheated. Recognizing his feelings, I confessed that the gift was from me and explained my motives. I then took back the pen and exchanged it for a gift I had received.

This experience had a profound impact on my outlook, shaping my attitude towards gift-giving. To this day, I often hesitate to participate in gift exchanges if I can help it, reflecting on the motives behind giving.

Should I give simply because I am obliged? Should I feel compelled to reciprocate regardless of my circumstances? Should I participate even if I cannot afford it? These questions troubled me for many years.

Thankfully, I have overcome these feelings. I now give not out of obligation but with genuine intention and purpose. I have learned to be honest with myself about my motives, recognizing that true giving stems from sincerity, similar to how Jesus Christ sacrificed His life selflessly.

(To be continued)